Are You Ready For The New "Two And A Half Men"

Somebody go check on Charlie Sheen and make sure he hasn't killed himself.

Image: CBS

Charlie Gets A New Job In "Anger Management"

Ha! And some people seem to think that WHITE PRIVILEGE doesn't exit....PUUUUULEAZE! And listen, I am NEVER one to throw the race card around easily (but c'mon....it surely exists), but Chris Brown doesn't get the same passes as this guy in the media (and HEAR ME CLEAR, Chris Brown has A LOT of growing up to do. Never will I make excuses for his behavior). Just saying.....

Charlie Sheen is returning to TV! The former “Two and a Half Men” actor will star in “Anger Management,” a new sitcom loosely based on the 2003 comedy feature of the same name starring Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson. “I chose ‘Anger Management’ because, while it might be a big stretch for me to play a guy with serious anger management issues, I think it is a great concept,” Sheen said in a press release sent to Access Hollywood on Monday morning. “It also provides me with real ownership in the series, a certain amount of creative control and the chance to be back in business with one of my favorite movie producers of all time, Joe Roth.” According to the release, Sheen will play “a mild-mannered, non-confrontational man is ordered to attend group anger management sessions led by a therapist who could probably use some anger management himself.” The actor, who will retain a significant ownership stake in the series, will be reunited with producer Roth, who he’s worked with on five big screen features, including “Major League,” “Young Guns” and “Three Musketeers.” “Who better than Charlie Sheen to tackle ‘Anger Management,’” Roth said in a statement. “With Charlie’s incredible talent and comedic gifts, he remains the leading man of TV sitcoms. I’m excited to collaborate with him once again.”

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Charlie Sheen's Former Goddess Speaks About How He Was In Bed!

WHY?????????? No, seriously....WHY? Anything for the limelight.

Former porn star and Charlie Sheen goddess Bree Olsen gave an exclusive interview with Playboy magazine where she was asked about her sex life with the former "Two and a Half Men" star:

“He’s intelligent, he’s charismatic, he’s super funny...And he’s good in bed. I mean, he’s had a lot of practice… [he was] gentle and considerate. He’s just a rock star. He’s a powerhouse. He is a very sensual and sexual person, and when I was with him I felt as if we became one together, because he’s just so enticing sexually."

Barf bag....PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ewwwwwwwww

As for Bree and Charlie engaging in a threesome with her fellow goddess Natalie Kenly:

“That was a lie. I didn’t really even know her. Okay, all three of us got together, I think, twice… they did their thing together, and Charlie and I did our thing together. And we had two different beds. She and I would go to whichever bed, and he would pick.”

I.CAN.NOT.WITH.THIS.GIRL.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ashton Kutcher CONFIRMED To Replace Charlie Sheen On "Two and a Half Men"....Charlie Is Bitter!

Ummmm....SHOCKER!!!

What's Charlie Sheen saying about Ashton Jutcher taking his job? Duh, whining. "Ashton Kutcher is a sweetheart and a brilliant comedic performer. Oh wait, so am I!!" the actor griped Friday. "Enjoy the show America, Enjoy seeing 2.0 in the demo every Monday, WB. Enjoy planet Chuck, Ashton. There is no air, laughter, loyalty, or love there." Sheen, 45, was referring to Chuck Lorre, the creator and executive producer of Two and a Half Men and Sheen's nemesis since he was fired from the hit sitcom amid allegations about his lifestyle and behavior on the set. Kutcher, 33, who got the role after Hugh Grant reportedly dropped out of negotiations, will make $650,000 to $750,000 an episode, a source close to the show tells PEOPLE.

Charlie, why haven't you entered rehab yet? I mean seriously! Even "Teen Mom 2" star Janelle Evans was smart enough to do so....FOLLOW SUIT!

Charlie Sheen Gets Boo'd At Opening Show In Detroit!

Ummmmmmm, are you even surprised Dancers? I'm not....

It appears Charlie Sheen's "WINNING" streak is beginning to come to an end (see, that's why you don't send non-comedians to the wolves like that. It's harder than it looks). It is being reported that Sheen's opening one-man-show in Detroit, Charlie Sheen LIVE: My Violent Torpedo of Truth, didn't turn out too well last night....Ahhhh, EFF IT! He was a big shyt ball MESS! So much so, the audience boo'd Sheen for not making sense in his rants, and even realizing it himself!

In fact, his rants were so nonsensical that even Sheen seemed confused, and he stopped right in the middle of his speech, saying, "Is anybody as confused by this s–– as I am? The good news is, I wrote every word."

Elsewhere during his main set, Sheen also took questions from the audience and showed multiple video clips, including some of his own screen work, as well as an older film starring Johnny Depp.

"Tonight is an experiment," Sheen later told the crowd. "You paid your hard-earned money without knowing what this show was about."

Sheen, who was fired from Two and a Half Men in March, took jabs at the show in his live performance. He also took jabs at the city of Detroit.

"I figured Detroit was a good place to tell some crack stories," he said, before asking the audience, "Show of hands – who here has tried crack? Forget that. Who is holding crack right now? I don't do crack anymore, but I'm just saying."

Their reply? More booing.

I REPEAT: someone get Intervention on the line, and submit his package to the production team! This man is in desperate need of "a good talking to" with a side of rehab....NOW!!!!

More flix under the break...

Who In The HELL Paid To See Charlie Sheen's Stand-Up Comedy Tour?



Because this guy sold out Radio City Music Hall....TWICE!!! My Heavens.....

Turns out there are plenty of people who think Charlie Sheen's antics are winning. Tickets to the troubled actor's upcoming one-man show, Charlie Sheen LIVE: My Violent Torpedo of Truth, are selling like mad. Sheen sold out his first show at New York's 6,000 seat Radio City Music Hall, the largest venue on his tour so far, in under 30 minutes. Then an additional Radio City show was added, and it sold out as well. Tickets to the Radio City performance range in price from $79.50 to $519, but if fans would like a meet and greet with the Warlock, it will cost a whopping $750. Sheen is donating $1 per ticket to the Red Cross Japanese Earthquake Fund.

$519? $750? Get The Phuck Outta Here....

Now who are the fools who paid for the tickets? Show yourselves!

Charlie Sheen Waves Machete And I Assume This Is "Tiger Blood"???

What on God's green earth???

Shortly after Charlie Sheen got the word that he had been fired from his widely popular sitcom Two and a Half Men yesterday, he was spotted wielding a machete (YES! A COT DAMN MACHETE!!!) on top of the Live Nation building in Beverly Hills. He stood next to one of his goddesses, Natalie Kenley, after having a meeting there.

Oh but it gets better, Dancers! It appears that we have finally cracked the code on WHAT IN THE HELL "Tiger Blood" REALLY is! Ummmmm, I'm still confused as to what it is! That shyt looks thick and disgusting.

Lawwwwwd, WHERE IS HIS MOTHER?!?!?!?!?

In all seriousness, I'm aware that he is filthy rich and continuing to make a TON of $$$$, but can we 'pauz for the cauz' and please PRAY for his children?

*praying*

DONE!

Images: WireImage

Charlie Sheen Officially Fired From "Two And A Half Men"!

WELP! Can't say we're surprised here....

Charlie Sheen just got his pink slip.

"After careful consideration, Warner Bros. Television has terminated Charlie Sheen's services on Two and a Half Men effective immediately," the show's producers say in a statement.

His firing places the future of the hit CBS sitcom in doubt. The network declined to comment, but one source close to the show says, "no decision has been made" about whether to continue with a new star or to cancel it all together.

Two and a Half Me, which costars Jon Cryer, went on hiatus after Sheen, 45, started lambasting his boss, series co-creator Chuck Lorre, in a series of bizarre interviews.

The actor also faces a restraining order obtained by his estranged wife and had his twin boys taken away by police and placed in the custody of their mother, Brooke Bueller.

Uhhhh, I guess he's no longer "WINNING", eh? I apologize for using that word! Forgive me...

Here is Charlie's response after being fired:

"This is very good news. They continue to be in breach, like so many whales. It is a big day of gladness at the Sober Valley Lodge because now I can take all of the bazillions, never have to look at whatshiscock again and I never have to put on those silly shirts for as long as this warlock exists in the terrestrial dimension."

Warlock? Terrestrial dimension? I'm confused...


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Jimmy Fallon As Charlie Sheen (LMAO)!

Hey Jimmy Fallon, I see an EMMY in your future! This was heelarious!

Charlie Sheen To Brooke Mueller: "I Will Cut Your Head Off" + Judge Takes Kids Away From Him

This situation is a friggin train wreck! WOWZERS.....

Via TMZ: 

A judge temporarily stripped Charlie Sheen of custody of his twin sons Tuesday, after Brooke Mueller submitted a declaration in which she alleged Charlie said, "I will cut your head off, put it in a box and send it to your mom" ... TMZ has learned.

Ummmm call me crazy but I believe EVERY BIT OF THAT STATEMENT!

Brooke's lawyer got a temporary restraining order against Charlie, prohibiting him from going near her.  The judge also ordered Charlie to surrender their twin boys -- Bob and Max -- to Brooke while the TRO remains in effect. Police removed the twins from Charlie's house late Tuesday. According to legal docs, Brooke also claims ... on February 23 Charlie threw a phone inside his house and then with a penknife in hand, threatened to stick it in Brooke's eye. Today's hearing was held without notice to Charlie -- his lawyers were not present. Brooke's lawyer confessed to the court ... Brooke is currently in a "day treatment" facility for substance abuse.  She says she will see the kids for around 4 hours a day while the TRO is in effect and her mom will provide care for the rest of the day. Sources tell TMZ Charlie's team is furious that the order was issued and plans to go to court tomorrow [March 2nd] in an attempt to undo it.

So neither one of these adults are fit to parent these twin boys, eh? He's clearly crazy as hell and she is an addict as well! I feel sorry for these little boy (matter of fact, ALL of his children).

In related news, my prayers were answered last night...Charlie Sheen has joined Twitter! This makes me smile (because let's face it....I LOVE A TRAIN WRECK) and *shiver* at the same time!

God bless America. No...seriously.

Charlie Sheen's Lawyer Is Putting EVERYBODY On Blast In Scathing Letter!

And by everybody I mean CBS, Two and a Half Men's creator Chuck Lorre, and Warner Bros.!

This is the 1st step in Charlie Sheen's legal action against the aforementioned:

“This action is outrageous and in direct violation of our client’s legal rights, including under the contract between our client and Warner Bros. Television with regard to Two and a Half Men (“the Series”). Our client is entitled to be paid for eight additional episodes under his contract on the Series.”
“Furthermore, my client is clean and sober and has passed every drug test requested. In fact, he took passing tests this weekend. It is clear that you cancelled the series not because of my client’s condition but in retaliation for your show runner being criticized."
"He (Sheen) intends to hold Warner Bros. fully accountable for the compensation owed on his contract and to hold Warner Bros. and CBS fully accountable for all of the consequences of their actions.”

“We demand that you immediately confirm that our client will be paid for the eight additional episodes of the series under his contract. If you fail to do so, our client intends to exercise all of his legal rights and remedies against CBS, Warner Bros. and Chuck Lorre."

"Although Mr. Lorre is allegedly upset about recent statements made by Mr. Sheen, our client simply responded to Mr. Lorre's ongoing campaign of harassing our client and making numerous derogatory and highly damaging statements about him."
“There is no justification for the Series to be shut down at this time. It is clear that this action is the result of interference by Chuck Lorre with our client’s contractual rights. It is most unfortunate that Warner Bros. and CBS have conspired with Mr. Lorre in his tortuous and outrageous conduct in permitting him to shut down the show, thereby damaging many individuals and companies, in addition to our client.”
“Now, after our client simply responded to Mr. Lorre’s unrelenting derogatory statements, Mr. Lorre retaliated by arranging to terminate production of the Series for the remainder of the season. The fact is that Mr. Lorre refused to perform under the contract, namely, to have the Series produced through April 8, 2011, long before Mr. Sheen made any statements about Mr. Lorre.”
“In addition, we want to again confirm that our client is ready, willing and able to perform his obligations with regard to next season’s production of the series. We trust that you intend to pay our client for 24 episodes for next season’s production of the Series and ask that you confirm your intentions now.”

A.COT.DAMN.MESS.!!!

Ummmmm, I wouldn't necessarily say that Charlie Sheen is "WINNING" anymore, would you?

I repeat: WHERE IS HIS MOTHER?

In related news, CBS is rumored to be courting John Stamos as Charlie's replacement. I expect more rants coming in 5, 4, 3,....

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UPDATED: Charlie Sheen Gives Interview To TMZ + Longtime Publicist Quits Soon After!

After giving a VERY CANDID (and heeeelarious) interview to TMZ, Charlie Sheen's long time publicist Stan Rosenfield has QUIT!

"I worked with Charlie Sheen for a long time and I care about him very much, however, at this time, I'm unable to work effectively as his publicist and have respectfully resigned."

What's funny is that Charlie has passed 3 recent drug tests. Guess he's just high off life! *shrug* This man's life is self destructing before our very own lives!

NOBODY can help this guy. Only he can help himself

UPDATED

Charlie Sheen reacts to his publicists quitting on him:

"P**sy. He's not allowed to quit, so you’re fired."

WHERE IS HIS MOTHER?!?!?!?!?!?

Peep the TMZ interview under the break....

Charlie Sheen "I Am On A Drug...It's Called Charlie Sheen" (VIDEO)

This is sad, yet HIGHLY entertaining!!!

Get this man on Twitter....ASAP!!!!!!!!

Spotted: Nicole Richie And Son Sparrow

 

Awwwwww! How friggin cute.....

Nicole Richie and youngest son Sparrow were spotted at a Coffee Bean in Los Angeles, CA today. 

In related news, Nicole was a guest co-host on The View a couple of days ago where they asked her views on Charlie Sheen, especially since Nicole had her bouts with drug use:

"I don't think he should make it somebody else's responsibility to keep him sober. If he wants [his sobriety] to last for a long time, it's up to him. He's an adult and he needs to take responsibility for his actions."

Well said, lady!

Images: PacificCoastNews

Charlie Sheen Enters ReHab!!!

There is a GOD!!! Because Lawwwd knows this man is in DESPERATE need of treatment! It's not even funny anymore....

Charlie Sheen has checked into rehab. The actor "has voluntarily entered an undisclosed rehabilitation center today," the actor's rep says in a statement Friday. "He is most grateful to all who have expressed their concern." News of Sheen, 45, seeking treatment comes one day after the actor was rushed to a Los Angeles hospital citing severe abdominal pain. Sheen's highly successful sitcom, Two and a Half Men, is going on hiatus due to the star's decision to enter rehab, according to a statement from CBS, Warner Bros. Television and executive producer Chuck Lorre. "We are profoundly concerned for his health and well-being, and support his decision," they say in the statement. In October, Sheen was involved in an hotel trashing melee that allegedly involved porn actress Capri Anderson, but no criminal charges were filed. Last August, Sheen pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault and was sentenced to rehab after a Christmas Day fight with ex-wife Brooke Mueller. He completed three months of probation in that case.

All jokes aside, this is a SERIOUS problem for him and his family. I honestly wish him and his children the best.

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Charlie Sheen & Brooke Mueller File For Divorce

Raise your hand if you're surprised by THIS news? *looks around*

Charlie Sheen and wife Brooke Mueller each filed separate divorce petitions on Monday.  Sheen, 45, seeks joint physical and legal custody of their 1 1/2-year-old twin boys, while Mueller wants primary physical custody with visitation for Sheen, according to the papers filed in Los Angeles Superior Court. Both cite irreconcilable differences as the reason for the split and agree they separated on Christmas Day when they had a nasty fight in Aspen that landed Sheen in jail. Sheen and Mueller have both since entered rehab in separate programs. Sheen was also placed on probation and sentenced to domestic violence counseling.

The bigger issue at hand is Charlie Sheen DESPERATELY needs rehab (extended). He has abused drugs and alcohol for as long as I can remember, and often times been accused of physical assault.

I swear, when people have $$$, the wool can be pulled over so many people's eyes. It's a huge shame, especially since he has young children.

Denise Richards: I Was With Charlie At The Hospital

Denise Richards, ex-wife of troubled actor Charlie Sheen, sat down with Joy Behar for her late night talk show on CNN to show her support for her children's father.

“I do know what happened and I did help him at the hospital,” Richards said. “My daughters are five and six years old. They’re at an age where they can start to understand. They have no idea what went on.”

When asked how the actor was doing, Richards replied: “Maybe I’ll let you ask Charlie.”

Very sad situation all around! Peep the video...

Charlie Sheen HOSPITALIZED!

Can life suck any more for Charlie Sheen? WTF!

According to TMZ:

Charlie Sheen was hospitalized last night. We're told he was in New York City when there was some sort of medical emergency, and Charlie was taken to a local hospital. We're now told at 2:07 AM, emergency dispatch received a 911 call for possible intoxication.  Charlie was taken to New York Hospital at 2:30 AM.  Police sources say Charlie went voluntarily and that Charlie was "emotionally disturbed." Charlie is in New York to spend time with Denise and their two kids.

UPDATE:  The New York Post is reporting Charlie was drunk and naked in his hotel room at 2 AM when security was called.  The Post reports chairs had been thrown around the room and a chandelier was damaged. The report also mentions that Charlie headed back to his hotel room with an unidentified woman and that he flew into a rage after noticing his wallet had gone missing.

WOW! I'm starting to feel really bad for him. He is outta control.

More to come.....