No Cause For Alarm, Dancers! Hugh Hefner Is Not Dead. He's Just....Uh....Planking!

My only question is, who got Sugar Daddy Hef on the table? No. seriously.

Oh and he got his 'bytches' to join in on the fun. Peep it under the break.....

Today's Phrase That Pays Goes To...

.....Crystal Harris (Hugh Hefner's ex-fiance).

Harris, 24, said Tuesday on Sirius XM Radio's Howard Stern Show that sex with the 85-year-old Playboy founder lasted "like two seconds." "Then I was just over it," she says. "I was like, 'Ahhh.' I was over it. I just like, walked away. I'm not turned on by Hef, sorry." She adds that they had sex just once. "He doesn't really take off his clothes," Harris says. "I've never seen Hef naked."

Ummmmmmm, not that I'm surprised by this tidbit, but this BITCH has no class! UGH! Keep that info to yourself...PLEASE!

Source

Heidi Montag Parties With Hugh Hefner's Ex Fiance Crystal Harris In Vegas

BARF!!! This is EXACTLY what you do when you've just broken up with your fiance! GO TO VEGAS....YEAH!!!

Human blowup doll Heidi Montag and ex fiance to Hugh Hefner (AND aspiring pop princess *side-eye*) Crystal Harris were both on hand enjoying the sun and warm weather at the Wet Republic Pool in Las Vegas on Saturday. Oh yeah, Spencer Pratt was there too. Ewwwwww....

Crystal looks happy, eh? She's FREEEEEEE!

Apparently, I'm not the only one giving the *side-eye* to Crystal. Hef's former girlfriend Holly Madison had this to say about Crystal gallivanting to Vegas after calling off her wedding:

"That's a new low," says Madison, the former star of The Girls Next Door, in one Tweet.

"That's disgusting," she says in another, "and whoever booked her is tacky."

Yeah, HOLLY!!!

More pics of the blonds under the break....

Crystal Harris On Calling Off Their Wedding: "Hef's Lifestyle Wasn't For Me"

First and foremost, this girl sounds THRILLED she is no longer getting married! Which leads me to believe, did she REALLY wanna get married in the first place? Hmmmmmmm. Doesn't sound to me like a person who just called off their wedding. I'm just sayin'.

Crystal Harris, Hugh Hefner's now former fiance, called into The Ryan Seacrest Radio show to explain her side of the story as to why she is no longer getting married this weekend.

“It was mutual between Hef and I. There was no fight, we sat down and we talked about it.”

"...for a while I’ve been having second thoughts about everything. I haven’t really been at peace with myself lately. I didn’t think it was really fair to him.” 

Oh yeah Dancers, forgot to mention that she wants to be a singer and currently has a song out *side-eye*. 

Listen. Hollywood people are so jaded and their sense of reality is sooooooooooo far fetched to me. *soft sigh*. I mean...I guess.

Under the break, take a look at Crystal's Playboy cover as "Mrs. Crystal Hefner"....

Hugh Hefner No Longer Walking Down The Aisle!

Ummmmmm, are you surprised? You shouldn't be!

TMZ is reporting that Playboy founder Hugh Hefner and his 24-year old fiance Crystal Harris are DUNZO! And you wonder who called off the wedding? That would be Crystal! Couldn't pretend any longer you were into the old man, eh? Figures....

Our sources -- who are all at the mansion -- say Crystal and Hef had a nasty argument this weekend on the phone. When the dust settled Crystal decided to 86 the nuptials and quickly moved her stuff out.

Hef, she wasn't about that married life! But honestly, you should've known that!

Hugh Hefner And Fiance Have Set A Wedding Date

Ummmmmmm, so......this is really gonna happen??? SMH....

Looks like Playboy founder Hugh Hefner is dead set on proving to the world that his poor lil heart is madly in love with fiance, 24 year old (24!!!!!!!!!!!!) Crystal Harris! The couple have been confirmed to set a June 18th wedding date at the Playboy Mansion.

"It will be intimate with a close number of friends here at the mansion," Hefner has said of the nuptials. "No big blowout affair. Something very personal."

A report reveals that Hef's idea of "personal" includes less than 300 guests and that Harris is close to making one other important choice: the gown (a rumored Ramona Keveza number).

Ummmmm, congrats?

Holly Madison On Hugh Hefner's Engagement: "He Could Do Better"

SHOT FIRED!!!

In an exclusive interview with Life&Style magazine, former playmate and girlfriend to Playboy founder Hugh Hefner, Holly Madison speaks about her former lover's recent engagement:

"I'd like to see Hef settle down. I just want it to be with the right person, and I feel like he's making a hasty decision. I'm not sure Crystal is the best thing for him."

Of course she's not! Isn't she like 12? Ok...bad example. That would constitute molestation...moving along!

"Crystal hasn't been around very long -- she's a mysterious character. No one knows much about her. Plus, she's very young, probably too young to settle down. I've seen a lot of girls try to date Hef, and some have ulterior motives. I don't think it would be a bad idea for him to get to know her a little better. I think it's possible Crystal could break Hef's heart. They could end up divorcing, and she could take half his money."

Damn, Holly! How do you really feel?

"I wanted to check up in person. I told them that I wish them the best and that Crystal had better not do him wrong or else I'll kick her butt. It was definitely awkward. I'm not jealous that he'd marry someone else. I just don't want it to be a girl who's using him to start her career. Basically, I think he could do better than Crystal.

So what does Crystal have to say about all of this? "I've never been happier in my life. I'm so excited to be marrying Hef."

*side-eye*

So How Does Holly Madison Feel About Hugh Hefner's Engagement?

Many were shocked and confused at the news that Playboy founder Hugh Hefner had become engaged at the ripe old age of 80-something to 24 year old Crystal Harris. Of those people was Hef's long-time love Holly Madison who desperately wanted to marry the Depends-wearing pimp. So, how does Holly feel?

"I'm very surprised. I have a lot of different feelings on it. I don't just feel one way. I kind of didn't want to put a generic statement out there like 'Congratulations!' because I felt everyone would see through that. I wanted to see him and Crystal and tell everybody face-to-face how I felt. It went very well. I had a good day".

That's it? GIVE US MORE!!!

We're hearing that she's keeping tight-lipped on details because she wants to save the big reveal for her own show, Holly World!

I think it's safe to say she wasn't too pleased, eh?

Source

In EXTREMELY Creepy News, Hugh Hefner.....

......is ENGAGED (with his old azz!!!), and guess how old his "fiance" is? 24!!!!!!!!!!!! You now have permission to throw up....go 'head. 

The Playboy founder is engaged to girlfriend Crystal Harris, 24, he announced on Twitter. 

Okay..KNOCK IT OFF with the Twitter announcements people!!!

"After the movie tonight, Crystal & I exchanged gifts. I gave Crystal a ring. A truly memorable Christmas Eve," Hefner, 84, wrote. "When I gave Crystal the ring, she burst into tears. This is the happiest Christmas weekend in memory." Later, he clarified, "Yes, the ring I gave Crystal is an engagement ring. I didn't mean to make a mystery out of it. A very merry Christmas to all." This will be the third marriage for Hefner. In 2009 he filed for divorce from his second wife, former Playmate Kimberly Conrad, after the two separated in 1998. He was previously married to Mildred Williams; their marriage ended in divorced in 1959. Harris was December 2009's Playboy Playmate.

Crystal, you know DAMN WELL you don't love Hugh Hefner (yeah...I said it)!!! Why are you doing this, huh? The money? Limelight? 'Fess up! 

I really don't blame Hef's senile azz, he just want's to live out his last days with a young piece of blond azz.....Crystal is the real culprit!